Until We Meet Again, Callie Girl.

 I have been mentally prepping this post since last Saturday morning.  I have so much floating around inside and, shockingly, no adequate words to say it all.  Typing the post title opened the flood gates, once again. I have been typing the post for four days because of my heartbreak, internet issues and I had to do a complete update on Eric's computer to look for pictures.  Now, to warn everyone, I am going to sound pretty dang crazy in this post.  I am kind of a crazy cat and dog and horse and cow and chicken lady...  I am sure most people have gathered by now that I love my animals with a strong intensity and would do ALMOST ANYTHING for them.  So, understand that when you read this post.  After I get through the first part, there will be a regular post as well.  

We lost our sweet, incredible Callie last Saturday morning, February 18th.  I don't even like typing that and it physically hurts.  I love that dog more than I love most humans.  Callie was special.  Everyone says that about their pet and each one IS special.  I told the vet "she is the best dog that has ever existed.  I know all pet owners tell you that but in our case, it's true."  She reassured me that she felt Callie was a very good dog.  

Over the past month (more like 2 weeks), Callie had lost 20 pounds.  It was such an obvious weight-loss that we had started giving her a noon-time meal and I started making their food.  We thought it was a protein allergy (which it turns out is also true for all of the dogs).  She was basically acting normal until last Tuesday.  She ate some rib bones that she dug out of the trash can on Super Bowl Sunday so we thought she had another blockage (she used to eat rabbit bedding and got a blockage from it in the past- (don't let this deter you from believing that she is in fact the best dog ever).  So, Thursday I was really worried because she was super lethargic and seemed to be struggling to go potty.  Eric and I sat outside while it was snowing Friday evening with her hoping to help and see her go potty but she never did.  She just kept plopping down and needed help getting up and inside.  Friday night I texted the vet for an appointment and they could get us in the next morning.  They took x-rays and knew immediately.  Callie was FULL of cancer.  

Eric was there with her.  She had the cancer all throughout her liver, spleen, stomach and probably heart.  They did an ultrasound to see if it was operable and came back very quickly that it was not and in fact, her liver was so full that it was literally shutting down.  They struggled to find a "normal" spot to show Eric the difference between healthy and cancer.  They also said it was likely she was bleeding internally (the type of cancer she had bleeds).  They suspected she may not even make it home that day and definitely wouldn't make it through the weekend.  Eric called me and I cried my eyes out.  I was not expecting to have to go say goodbye to her that very day.  I talked with each of the kids and each one also wanted to go say goodbye so we loaded up and headed to the vet's office.  Callie was very calm and I think knew what was happening.  She just rested there and we all said what we needed to her.  Lily wrote her a little note and tucked it under her paw.  I stayed with her until after she had passed.  It was awful saying goodbye to her.  I still can't believe it's true.  When Eric first called me to say she had no blockage but did have cancer, I cried and cried.  Nico came in from doing his chores and asked me what was wrong.  I told him "Callie has cancer" and he came over and hugged me, rubbed my back and said "it's okay, mama.  Just pray to the Lord and he will help us bring Callie through this."  After I got the second call that she wouldn't make it, I let the kids know and Nico started bawling and saying "NO! I don't want this!"  It was awful.  We all cried the whole way to the vet.  

Anyway, we all are beyond heartbroken and missing our "princess" Callie.  I am totally downplaying how I feel so I can minimize sounding crazy.  I am beyond devastated.  Of course, we are all worried about Bear now too.  He's pretty down.  I mean, they did share a womb and were never apart for 11 years. I asked the vet if we should have Bear checked too and she said only if he starts to show signs because it's not hereditary but is common for bigger breeds.  Missy seems mostly normal.  Missy was sniffing her a lot in the last week and I told Eric that it worried me because I think she knew something was going on.  I did research and told Eric that I thought she had kidney failure or cancer because I am a worrier and always go to the worst-case scenario so I can start to cope.  Well, even doing that didn't prepare me for the shock and sorrow.  Nor did it change the outcome.  We elected to have Callie cremated and as I was typing this, the call came in that she is back and ready for pick-up.  We wished we had cremated Roscoe and Otis as well.  

Our life with Callie was so blessed and incredible.  She always brought so much joy to us all.  She was so loving and calm.  We got she and Bear from a ranch in Ione, CA and I was so mad that Eric had reserved a puppy.  I remember saying to him "Roscoe and Otis are enough for us, we are NOT getting another dog."  Well, we went to the ranch to pick up our goats and I saw the puppies running around.  I saw Bear (the one Eric reserved) and was in love with him immediately and then I saw the little white one running away from me.  I went to pick her up and she was so scared she was yelping.  I immediately fell in love and we brought both of them home with us.  My sister, Kelsey, was with us and she knew I couldn't resist bringing them home.  That night, we had them in the goat pen with the goats and when we woke up the next morning, they were laying on the front doorstep snuggled together.  It was all over from there.  Slowly (it was actually quickly) they made their way to being indoor/outdoor dogs, much to Eric's (initial) dismay.  

Callie was an extraordinary protector of our family, property and animals.  She killed coyotes, avoided ever being bitten by a rattlesnake, was sprayed multiple times by skunks, swam in our neighbors pond and came back covered in pond sludge, she swam underwater in the lake at our old house, she tolerated adding five kids and Missy to the household, she said goodbye to Roscoe and Otis, allowed the cats to rub all over her and was my best buddy.  She constantly wedged herself in-between my legs as I was standing.  She was taller than the clearance she had and I'd have to stand on one leg and pet her and give her loves.  One time she went into the forest and came back with an entire deer leg in her mouth.  The whole leg from shoulder to hoof.  Another time she came back with a skull.  She was a notorious food thief.  Gramps would never learn to shut his car doors and she would climb inside his car and steal his leftovers every single time.  She also stole ALL of his right hand gloves.  Not even kidding, just the right hand.  We never found her stash but we think somewhere on the property in CA is a stash of probably about 12 or more right-handed work gloves that Callie stole from Gramps.  It was such a "thing" that Lily drew her in chalk the day she passed with a glove in her mouth!  I didn't know she had drawn that and at supper that night, we all talked about Callie memories and I brought up the glove thing.  Lily then said "I drew that on the lower driveway a little while ago!"  She was strong and agile and could get through ANY fence that stood in her way.  We always joked as we were running new fence or when we moved here, "if there is any weak spot in the fence, we will know in a bit, Callie will find it."  And she did.  She stole whole pizzas off the countertops as well as whole tri-tips.  Only a few times though and only when she thought we were really far away.  Lol. 

I am going to miss driving in the gates of our property and seeing her laying on the front hillside or walking back from the neighbors house or laying out in front of the shed watching everything.  I am going to miss watching her dig her huge holes in the manure pile to lay in the cool shade, or coming into the barn with me to see if Gramps left any food out or to lay in the hay while I worked.  I'll miss her laying on her bed in the shop while I work or looking down the hallway to Harlan's room and seeing her laying there in his doorway.  All of it.  I am just going to miss her so dang much.  

Here is where I bombard you with Callie pictures... 

Look at how young they ALL were!  

Such a beauty...  

Callie, Bear, Otis and Roscoe.  Bear is the only one still with us...

Such a good pup...  

Terri and Callie...  

Look at this gang.  Stryker (German Shepherd) came for a visit with Aunt Christina and Uncle Tony (many years ago).  They all got along very well.  I actually have a picture of he and Callie kissing but it was blurry so I didn't post it.  

Harlan has always had a thing for the dogs and Callie tolerated him well. 

She wants Nolan to share his cookie...  

Friday night.  She was struggling to maintain a warm enough body temp and it was snowing while we were outside with her...  

Friday night... 

Fitting in the smallest bed we own...  

Callie kisses...  

My girl... 

Miss Kitty and Callie... 

After her annual vet visit about 2 years ago... 

Callie and Bear coming home from the neighbors house...  

Nolan and Callie... 

Hiding in the basement from a thunderstorm... 

All 5 of our pups...  

Our Princess... 

Look at her paw on Gramps' foot...  Lol.  

The gang...   

Nico and Callie... 

Always watching the kids...  

Laying with Maverick...  

Tristan and Callie... 

Going for a ride! 

I'd lie and say that they did this on their own but it's pretty obvious that we're holding treats hostage to get them to pose like this...  Lol.  

Eric and Callie...  

Lily covered her up like this... 

Emery and Callie... 

Pond sludge...  

Look at her chubby belly!  

Snooping for a hard-boiled egg...  Lily and Callie.  

Lila and Callie... 

Sleeping in the goat pen... 

One of my favorite pictures...  

She was pretty chill for Eric while waiting on results last Saturday...

Saturday...

Awaiting her appointment on Saturday...

Rest in peace, sweet girl.  

                                         

Callie Marie Tilford 01/11/2012 - 02/18/2023.  

"Callie Gator," "Callie Girl," "Princess."  

Forever in our hearts and memories.  

Thank you for the past 11 years of companionship, dedication, protection, loyalty, love and friendship.  How lucky and blessed are we to have had that time with you.   

 

                                                   

                                         

The remainder of our month has been very typical.  Super busy, still a lot of happiness mixed in, new life, super fun times and wintry weather.  Until three days ago.  The weather has turned (for now) and I wore shorts the day before yesterday.  It was 80 degrees.  I opened the windows, baked bread and aired the house out.  I am LOVING this. I know it's still winter and I know we will snap cold again but we so needed this light and warmth after the rough week we have had. 

One for us and one for the Casner Fam... 

I mentioned above that I have started to make the dogs food.  They have developed a protein allergy so I am making a new food for them in the crock pot and one the stove.  I created the recipe based on a little research, a recipe from my sister, Kelsey, and a few others I found online. I needed lower protein so I had to use a little from each one and make my own.  The vet has approved the recipe with the recommendation of a daily multi-vitamin so we are good to go!  

I've been doing a lot of baking over the past month.  I made our usual mini-muffins, cookies, bread, lots of pancakes, french toast, cupcakes, dog food, banana bread, and of course, the usuals (supper).  Also, instead of a traditional lesson in the classroom last Friday, we did some baking in the kitchen together. The rule was though that if they argued- even a little tiny bit, we'd all go up to the classroom and extend our school day with a traditional lesson- or five.  They had to gather ALL ingredients, measure, bake and clean up all on their own while I watched and guided.  We also bought an air fryer but already want to return it for a bigger one (we have a big family).  

I didn't smooth this loaf as much as I would have liked AND I used all purpose flour vs. bread flour.  It tasted great though!  Next time I am adding garlic and asiago cheese or rosemary.  I am so excited to experiment.  It's SUCH an easy recipe.  

Eggroll in a Bowl...

Eggroll in a Bowl.  I have NEVER seen a cabbage as big and dense as the one we used.  This was less than 1/2 of it.  I ended up using two pots and pulling my jumbo bowl out.  

For Valentines Day for the twins' class... 

These are the kids' favorites...  

White chocolate, coconut and pecans (I just made it up on the fly because of Lily's chocolate allergy). 

Chocolate chip and walnuts. 

Another thing that was less than delightful that happened last month was...  My center diamond fell out of my wedding ring and is gone.  I had cleaned and organized the garage and cleaned and rearranged the laundry room and when I sat down on the sofa to talk with Eric, my ring snagged my shirt.  I looked down to a cavern in the spot where my diamond used to be.  This ring is beyond special to me because it was my grandmothers ring.  It is at least 65 years old.  I was so devastated. Eric offered to get me a new ring or replace the diamond but I am uncertain on which way to go.  For now, I found my birthstone ring in my jewelry box and am wearing it. Eric and I went to a jewelry store and talked with them and have some options now and a way to move forward.  

Projects...  We have still been hard at it with our Glowforge and woodworking.  I made a bunch of Valentines Day decorations, sold some, sent some out to family and started on St. Patrick's Day decorations.  My Glowforge also broke for a few days.  Thankfully it was just a pulley and easily repaired and they sent me a new one with zero questions for free.  They really have fantastic customer service.  If you or anyone you know are thinking of buying one, use our link!  It gets us free material and up to $600 off of your own Glowforge.  https://glowforge.us/f/UTGJAUME 

Eric also built a new workbench that can wheel around the shop to where he needs it.  Already we are seeing the benefits of having it.  I also organized the closet downstairs with all of our extra bedding.  Eric said he can finally have his man closet!  Lol.  All of his stuff is still in boxes in there still (Navy stuff, etc).  

Lily's valentines gift.  

Eric built this night stand for Nico.  He loves it and has since decorated it with all of his little critters that were on his bookshelf.  

Eric built shelves in the twins' rooms to house all of their  model cars from my grandpa. 

This is Eric's newly built workbench.  

I cut these hearts with my Cricut about 5 years ago and just now added bows to them to make a heart bouquet. 

Tristan's valentines gift. 

Another project that Eric, Gramps and all of the boys did was pour a slab foundation for the silo!  It was quite a project and they worked well into the night.  Nolan was such a huge help.  He always wants to work with us and is so good at taking instruction and learning.  

Weather, Sunsets and Local Pictures...  

Scott took this photo and texted it to me.  This is by their house.  

This is Watts Bar lake- photo by Scott.  

Big news!  Nolan lost two bottom teeth a few days apart.  He is a little ahead of all of our other kids but he just had an exam and all is fine!  

Nico also lost three more teeth and the tooth fairy found this note in his little tooth holder.  It was so cute that we snatched it from her...  

Eric and I also celebrated our 14 year wedding anniversary on February 6th.  It was a gorgeous day. We went and got subway sandwiches and sat outside by the lake in downtown Kingston.  Then we went and picked the twins up from school and came home. That weekend, Sierra and Scott babysat and we went out for most of the day into the night. It was awesome.  We went out for a late lunch, went shopping, ran some errands, looked (unsuccessfully) for a movie to see, went and walked the mall for several hours (it was my first time there since moving here) and went to the jewelry store about my wedding ring, searched (also unsuccessfully) for a nail salon to get pedicures (it was pretty late at that point) then went to dinner, bought dessert and sat in the car and ate it before coming home.  Then, Sierra and I chatted for several hours, she and the girls stayed the night (Scott had to work super early in the AM) and took off the next morning.  It was really fun and nice to be out together.  

Animal photos...  All of the other animals are doing pretty good, we think.  At least, they appear to be.  We are very much overdue for hoof trims but our farrier had surgery to have hardware removed from her leg from a horse kick so she was out for a couple of months and then we kind of put it off for a while longer and now we are needing her back in a bad way so she will be here next weekend.  

Not kidding, 10 minutes after this photo was snapped, the cows were ALL gone.  They walked down the front of the property, crossed the creek, walked down the road about 1,000 yards and went down the next road to the neighbors property.  Maybelle was about to calve so we were concerned with her taking off but all was good.   They wouldn't follow Tristan home when he went to get them so we waited for Eric to get home and run his cattle drive.  This is their second time doing that.  

Cut Flower Garden...  I have my first blooms of the season.  I made my first bouquet on Thursday.  

Tristans 14th Birthday Party...  We celebrated Tristans 14th birthday the first weekend of February.  It was a fun evening.  He requested beef stroganoff for supper so Eric made that and I made a large garden salad and some other fixings.  He also asked for red velvet cake so I made that, fudge brownies and confetti cake.  The Garcia's and Casner's came over and spoiled Tristan rotten and we had a really fun afternoon/evening.  We are all vey blessed and Tristan really felt it between the party, gifts from them and gramps, Auntie Kelsey and Uncle Martin, Aunt Leslie and Uncle Brian, Grandma and Papa, Aunt Nancy and Uncle Ben and the kids, The Flannery Family, and all of the wishes, cards, calls, texts and FaceTime calls.  It was a very special day to be certain and Eric and I are still in shock that we have a 14 year old kid!  How the heck did that happen?  

My Bestie, Ivy...  Her daycare was closed recently due to staff illness so we had her one of the days.  It was so much fun and she is developing a very fun, spunky personality.  She also needed her bangs trimmed and LOVES to get her hair cut.  We colored and she chatted my ear off, she also loves to watch herself on video.  I got some good ones but they're too long to post.  

Groundhog Day...  I was told that he saw his shadow so we will have six more weeks of winter.  Boo!  In true Tilford fashion, we placed bets on the outcome.  Tristan was the only one to lose the bet and had to sing and dance for us.  First, though, Eric told him that he had to carry him up the driveway on piggyback.  He practiced in the living room and we determined that wasn't the best option as we didn't want to be in trouble for killing our 14 year old son. 

Random Kid/Family Pictures and video...  

Warm enough on a late evening to play outside on the front porch.  

Super Bowl.  I've mentioned before but we don't watch football anymore but we did watch the Super Bowl because the Chiefs were in it.  It was a lot of fun.  Sierra and the girls came over and we had munchies and watched Eric's team beat the other team.  

Nolan is beginning to spell his name.  

Harlan played with his stuffed animals for hours like this.  

Oscar and Nico spooning. 

This is rare.  He usually won't fall asleep anywhere except his bed.  

This is common when he is super tired.  Sweet boy.  

Post haircut.  

Bike riding again!  Yay!  

Daddy teaching them Tetris.  

  

Super Bowl.  I'm not sure if you all know but Tristan is super into football but is also a bad-luck charm while sitting in that spot.  To ensure the Chiefs victory, we moved him to the dining room table to finish watching the game.  And, one of the last pictures of Callie.  😔

Pie Face...  Nolan got a wild hair and decided he MUST play Pie Face.  We tried the showdown but it wasn't working the best so we switched to the standard version.  All of the boys got in on the action.  

Ju jitsu...  The twins have been practicing ju jitsu with Tristan as their instructor.  It's so cute.  This weekend the dojo had their grand opening of their new building and had a two-day fun weekend.  It was great.  The twins got a free class and we brought Emery with us.  We signed Lily up and she starts Wednesday.  The twins' class was so adorable.  I didn't get video of the jumping jacks but they were beyond adorable.  We got the push ups on video, however.  😂 (I'll post that later when I can get this internet fixed). 

Other stuff…. Our niece, Holland, sent us the sweetest picture for our fridge.  It’s up in a perfect spot for us all to enjoy.  Also, I got a new living room rug.  We really like it except for a couple of things; 1. I can’t vacuum it with my regular vacuum because it sucks it up so only the stick vacuum will work on it and 2. It’s a tad thin for my taste.  I’d like to buy a pad for under.  

We found a fandango gift card that was from my brother, Jeremy, sister-in-law, Katelyn and their girls from 2018 or 2019 and decided to take the kids to see Avatar.  I declined to join the outing for several reasons so I kept the twins while Eric took the three big kids to the three-and-a-quarter-hour movie.  They all loved it a bunch and could not believe that Eric surprised them with that treat on Friday afternoon.  

Emery is here for the night tonight and they all wanted a dance party.  I was able to get a small video (also to come later after this horrible internet decides to cooperate).  

The previously mentioned “new life” on our ranch….   We went ahead and bought some chicks to replenish our egg layers.  We decided to not hatch them ourselves to get some variety.  We will probably hatch some later this year.  We set them up in the little pen and put it in the barn.  It has worked great and they are growing and loving life.  We have one that is growing quite rapidly and is like four times bigger than the others even though they are all the same age.  I think we mistakenly got a meat bird added to our mix.  It’s fine though, we named her Big Bird.  

Last but most definitely not least; please make welcome; Porter House Steak Tilford to the Drunken Sailor Ranch.  Born February 24th to Maybelle.  She is the best mama and so sweet.  We all love her.  This is her second calf born here on our ranch and we believe third or possibly fourth overall.  Labor was quick this time and she was a champ.  One hour and she was done and cleaning her new little bundle.  Now, this one Eric is set on sending to butcher but the little stinker made serious eye contact with me right after birth and I felt the stirrings of love.  Anyway, he is here to stay for at least the next 18 - 24 months….  He’s precious and already mooing and running around.  As usual, we took bets on delivery date AND gender.  None of us won for the date, although I was out with Maybelle when her water broke so I quickly came inside to Eric and tried to change my bet but he saw right through my plan.  I did win for gender, however, along with Tristan, Harlan and Nolan.  

Eric has been having to milk Maybelle and bottle feed him to ensure he gets his colostrum because he wouldn’t fully latch and nurse.  We think he is now, though.  We will know at the next bottle feeding tonight.  There are some graphic videos to follow (I am having internet issues so I'll post videos later).  

I’ll leave you with this little meme that Eric and I found hysterical AND this commercial from the Super Bowl that made both Sierra and me tear up (I full-on bawled).   I shared it with several people a few days later and bawled again and again.  My family has no feelings because not one of them bawled like me.  I do think part of my big, big feelings for the commercial were from thinking about Callie and her aging (unaware of what the next weekend would bring).  

Happy birthday wishes to…. 

Morgan Fanning!!!  We hope your day was as special as you are!  Keep up your sharp wit and passion for animals.  Stop growing up so much and don’t become too much of a woman before we see you next!  We hope to see you this year!  

Harper Bowers!!!  Happiest of birthdays!  We are missing you and your family quite a bit and are amazed at the young lady you are becoming.  We really hope to see you all soon.  

Uncle Don!!!  We hope you have an incredible day and are spoiled.  You are very special to us and we love you very much.  Stay cool and come back again for another visit.  

Emmett Fanning!!!  What an incredible young man you are becoming and so talented.  Keep up your hard work and kind heart.  Have the best day and come visit us!  

Uncle Mike Fox!!!  Happy birthday from the kids and us!  We hope your day is incredible.  Hopefully we make it out there in the motorhome in the next year or so, we’d love to see you again!!  

Amber Garcia!!!  Have an awesome day and party like it’s 1999…. Miss you a bunch.  Tell the kids to stop growing into adults before our eyes.  

Celece Anderson!!!  You are truly a unique person and anyone who is your friend will feel the abundance of your love.  Have the best day.  Spoil yourself and I know Mark will do the same for you.  Enjoy every minute!  Miss you tons!!  Lots of love from all of us!  

That is it for now from our side of the country, in our little paradise.  Take care, enjoy life and stay in touch!  Stay safe and healthy too.  Oh, and… come visit!